My former mother-in-law, Elaine, has died. I've spent a lot of time this week remembering her, and I keep coming back to the way that she gave me space and freedom to develop, without pushing at me. She was really wonderful to me.

Because she always lived in another part of the country from us, we didn't have that much time together. I made a point to call her and to send her mail (in the days of snail mail, real mail!) while A.J. was growing up. We tried to keep her up to date with his changes. She did a good job with that, too, sending him notes and little gifts. They had a special bond.

I feel heartbroken for him that now, all of his grandparents have passed away. It's hard. He and his dad will fly down for the funeral and to gather with family there tomorrow. I don't have a place, or a role, there anymore, as I am not literally part of the family anymore. But wow, my heart is there.

And I sent flowers, which seems such a small gesture, but it's something.

I was definitely blessed to have Elaine for a mother-in-law. I'll miss her very much.