My little angel,
Ethan George






More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world...

September 3, 1996 -
January 19, 1997


Dear Little E,
January is a hard month for me because this is the month when you went back to heaven, nine years ago tomorrow. But it's also a month when I just can't help but look up at the sky, the stars, the moon, the sun, and think of you, and that makes me smile (with tears in my eyes).

My heart is so full and thankful that you were here! You were an amazing boy: feisty, stubborn, happy, loving, sociable, engaging, adorable...people could not resist you! If you had lived to be a bigger boy, I think you would have kept me hopping, for sure, creating your own brand of mischief and always coming up with something new. Living your whole little life in the hospital, you found a way to exert your personality on all the people who worked with you. It was very cute, the way you wrapped each and every one of them around your little finger. You were a charmer, my blond baby!

You were lucky to have A.J. for your big brother. The two of you had a special way of communicating right from the beginning! I wish you had had more time with him on earth. I know he wishes that, too.

I remember you every day, Ethan, so tomorrow isn't unique in that way. You are always with me. Lots of people think about you and love you. Your dad, A.J., your Gramma Elaine, your aunts and uncles: Amy and Mark, Ruth and Adrienne, Carmen and John, family like Beth and Herb, Susan and Joe, Laurie, Kerry, Marcus and Angie, your nurses and doctors, your special friends like Pam, Joanne, Sharon and Bill, all those people will stop whatever they are doing tomorrow to think of you. I will also share your photo with my class at university tomorrow night. I'm proud of you and like to share your cute face with anyone who will look. I will remind them that your life was not a tragedy, but a triumph.

Do you remember what it felt like when I held you, like in this photo? I think that was as close to heaven as I could ever be while still on earth, and if I ever get scared, I will remember that and I'll be ok. You make me a braver person and you have helped me to figure out what my purpose is here.

Love you very much, Ethan. I'm holding you tight right now.

Your mommy