Pacifica is calling to me tonight...I took this photo on my last day there in May. Already I miss it. This is "my" little parcel of beach, Rockaway Beach, which I adore. I have had so many meaningful times there, deep and sustaining.
Today was a day for healing, and it was a positive day, but tonight I learned something very upsetting. I learned about a very big and hurtful lie which someone I care about has been telling me for the past month. I learned it through the grapevine, not from my friend.
I wonder why we lie to each other.
I know that we all do tell lies, but one that is so carefully crafted seems to hurt especially bad.
So while I am healing from my surgery, I feel like a new hurt has been opened in my heart.
posted by Bri @ 9:32 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Thank you. It was not just a friend who laid this lie, it was a lover, and that makes it a billion times worse.
I am questioning everything today. Questions like why do we trust people? and why do we lie? and what does it mean to love someone?
I prayed hard in the night, because I couldn't sleep. Now I'm going to take an afternoon nap, I hope...doing all the self-nurturing things I can think of to move this day along. Music, ginger ale (cure-all!), silk sheets, cool air conditioning, and even a bit of pain medication (I'm only a week out of surgery). Zzzzz time approaches.
I did confront the person, who today is denying the lie, but I think he's caught in a web.
Sigh. Thank you for writing.
Brina,
I'm sorry that you're hurting. I think the reasons people lie are as diverse as the lies themselves. Life would be so much simpler if people lived honestly, and just fixed whatever they broke and then moved on.
*hugs*
-AM
Thanks, Anne-Marie, for that.
I pursued this web of lies until I got to the bottom of it, and I'm glad I did. The person I thought was lying about me was not! It was another friend who passed it on, like gossip, to me. It was convoluted and ridiculous, and I'm thankful I set upon it like a dog with a bone, because ultimately I ended up seeing who was truthful and who was not.
Lately I really do seem to have some sort of extra antenna up for this sort of thing. Perhaps it has always gone on around me and I didn't know it. I am hyper-aware now, and I try so hard to be truthful myself. It's not always easy.
Love,
Brina
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